The Blogger Behind the Books Tag was created by the Sky Blue Team from Nori’s Book Blogger Creativity Project! We wanted to come up with something a little different than just books. We wanted something that was more meaningful, something you don’t see everyday, something that would allow us to remember that there is a person behind the books we read and review. A person behind the computer screen that you’re fighting with. Someone who is physically there and has emotions and pain. We live our own lives and make friends that we know nothing about because of the fact that we connect through books. So, what happens when you allow your book friends to really know you?… This tag happens…
Over the summer, I went to a “mixer” for the literary agency I’m interning for. I bought the train ticket on my own, made it to NYC on my own, walked through Manhattan on my own, and got to the Sky Lounge on my own. All. By. My. Self. I had never felt more empowered and inspired than I did just by feeling like I made it there on my own. Not only did I get there, but I started socializing at this mixer, meeting the agents I worked with, editors and publicists from big publishing houses, authors that we represented and were hoping to represent. It was almost overwhelming, but I talked, socialized, mingled, made some new connections, and somehow miraculously made it through. I was so nervous, but by the end of it, I honestly felt like I was on top of the world, especially when the agent I intern for came up to me and told me that I did well. I was praised for something that came naturally to me. The fact that I was being praised at all almost made me dance for joy and cry huge tears of thanks at the same time. Needless to say, I strutted my way back through NYC like I was Angelina Jolie with the world at my fingertips.
My best friend through college was a “life of the party” type of person. She was always so alive and living her life to the best of her ability. Smiling at everyone, laughing every chance she could, and truly letting herself feel all of the emotions that came with living life the way she did. I was the book worm and the shy, unsocial English major who she somehow befriended. She quickly became my best friend and soon after, she became my most immediate reminder that life is precious and can end at any moment. She taught me how to break out of my shell and to show those around me who I really am, who I can be. Because of her, I’ve grown into a more open and confident person, able to chase adventure and the sun, remembering her words to allow myself to live life and just be free.
I was struggling with this one for a little bit until a miracle happened this past week. I got offered an apprentice position at the literary agency I’ve been interning for. I never expected it. I would have thought that it would have taken me a year or so to be offered a position like this. I was AMAZED… but it felt right. Corvisiero and all of the ladies that work there still feel right to me. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, working in the publishing business, going to these mixers, being a part of something that makes me feel empowered, unstoppable, and like the sky is the limit. My mother may keep pushing me to stay with teaching because it’s dependable, it has health insurance, it has benefits… but my heart just isn’t in it anymore. Being a Literary Agent? That’s my new dream. That’s the dream I’m slowly starting to build the rest of my life around. It’s the life I want. The life that I’m supposed to be living.
Oh Mr. Barlow. MY eleventh grade English teacher was something out of the story books. He was a one part Lean on Me with two parts Freedom Writers and five parts Dead Poets Society. He was in inspirational speaker outside of teaching and always encouraged us to do our best. There were no excuses, no exceptions, no way out of it but to be the best student you could possibly be. He made us work hard and forced us to realized that our hard work was done on our accord. We chose this. He taught important life lessons mixed in with civil debates and common sense. He made us feel comfortable in his class and I was blown away by his type of teaching and caring for his students. He cared about us all enough to make us realize that our potential lay beyond our walls of what we thought was possible. Mr. Barlow has forever shaped my life in the way that he not only inspired me to become a teacher, but he also inspired me to truly look at and help people. He made me believe that anything I wanted to do was possible. He made me realize that I could make a difference in someone’s life, all while changing mine forever. He became my inspiration, only for me to realize that I was my own inspiration and motivation. HE was just the catalyst that started it all…
“Unless a man has prepared himself for his chance, when that chance comes, it will make him look ridiculous. A great opportunity is worth to a man exactly what his preparation has enabled him to make of it.”
Two words. ROWAN. WHITETHORN. That is all…
Also… Daenerys Targaryen, you BA female, you!
My physical home will always be my “home”, so to speak. I still live with my parents because teaching doesn’t give me a consistent income and no matter how much I work my butt off, I still can’t seem to make enough money to move out. When it comes down to it though, I still don’t feel like I’m living the life I’m supposed to be while staying here. It doesn’t feel quite right.
I’m a Pisces, a dreamer, a do-er, and a believer. Ever since my dream of becoming a Literary Agent started coming together, all I’ve been picturing in my mind if my home office, with my books behind me, and the big window in front of me that shows the view of all of the trees around me on the mountainside and a small piece of a view down the mountain. This has been my dream since I realized being a Literary Agent could be a reality. This dream, more than anything else, has been home to me. I see it in my mind and I hold on to it like it’s the last piece of sanity that I have. That haven of a room is the cement that creates my stepping stones and the light that guides me there. I’ll get there one day. I’ll be happy there one day. I’ll be able to physically call it my home one day.
Oh my goodness, when am I honestly not irrationally in love with someone or something? In all honesty, I’m a Pisces. I live a lot of my emotional life through gut instinct. Boyfriends, best friends, book boyfriends, you name it. It’s all gut instinct on who and what is right for me. Best friends usually works out pretty well! Boyfriends… not so much. I literally just had this conversation with a friend of mine the other day. There were red flags all over most of my ex-boyfriends, but I fell hard for every single one of them. Irrational, I know, but I don’t regret a single irrational love decision I’ve made, just because of the fact that every single one of them, I’ve learned from. Every bad love decision, I learn to be less irrational and to mix more logic in with me instincts. It’s a long road that I’ve built from mistakes made and lessons learned, but I’m almost to where I want to be, even though I know that love is something that you never stop building and working on. My road will continue to be built piece by piece, but each foot of pavement will hopefully be a little more perfectly paved than the last. =)
This is a difficult question. Is life fair? Nope. Is life horrible? Nope. Are we aware of all the things that make life good or bad? Nope. Will it ever just be black and white? No. Never. We can’t really say that we live in a dystopia or utopia because nothing is ever perfect, but it doesn’t mean that things are horrible or amazing either. There is no black and white. I can’t say that I live in a utopia because I’m happy and life is great. Life changes every second of every minute of every day. One second I could be happy as a clam, and the next second, I’ll be getting a phone call that my grandfather passed away. We’re not necessarily living in a dystopia either because sometimes… things do seem perfect. We have freedoms, we have rights, we have a lot of things that allow us to live in a way that we want to. Is it perfect? Definitely not. But is it horrible? No. There are a lot of things that are wrong with our world, but that doesn’t make our world or anything in it imperfect. Sometimes the faults and the flaws in who we are and the lives we live make them perfect. I know that I’m not perfect and neither is my life, but I’ve changed my perspective to enable me to see imperfect things perfectly and truly allow myself to soak up the beauty of the flaws within. My life is neither a dystopia or utopia. It’s simply life, in all its beauty, flaws, insecurities, and unfair circumstances. It’s how you view it that enables you to live in the perfection you want.
I hope I didn’t bore you too much with these long explanations, but this was actually quite fun and more than a little difficult! I thought coming up with this idea would make things easy for all of us, but you honestly have to do some soul searching while filling this out! For that reason, I’m tagging the following people and everyone else who wants to give this tag a try, or just rediscover themselves! =P
Lauen and Melissa, my co-bloggers!
The entirety of my other lovely Earth Witch clan members from Earthly Heirs!
Andi from Just a Broke Bookworm!
Tika from Fangirl Confessions!
Emma from Miss Print!
Bex from Aurelia Lit Geek Chic!
Kit from Let The Pages Reign!
Emily from Midwestern Book Nerd!
Brittany from Please Feed the BookWorm!
Justin from Justin’s Book Blog!
Brian from The Guy’s Side!
Oh my goodness this tagging is getting out of hand. Just ALL OF YOU DO IT! OKAY?! OKAY! Cool… I’m totally cool…
I hope you all are doing well and handling this insanely busy season with calm hearts and peace of mind! As always, if you need someone to talk to, I’m only an e-mail or DM away. Love you all!